I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
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she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
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She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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