Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We were destined to go to rehab together
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Randomize
