One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
