how can u be prego again
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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