i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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