Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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