I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
