Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize
