I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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