This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
