The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
