did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
