he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize