If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
two words: eviction party
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
