carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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