I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
