Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize