I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
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My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
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You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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