I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize