My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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