he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
