Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
