Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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