I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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