I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
