they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
