i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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