I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
