yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
