we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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