sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
