Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
