i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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