At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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