Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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