Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
