i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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