I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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