Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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