Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
