im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
