He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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