New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
