Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
