oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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