is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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