hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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