i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
