jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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