i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
