carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
