Just mADE A PArabola og urine
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
