We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
