So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
