your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
