my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize