shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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