I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
