Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
