...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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