is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
