i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
