So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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