apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize