anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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