So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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