you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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