no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
