we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
