I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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